However, while women are limited in their dating options by circumstance, men are limited only by themselves
However, while women are limited in their dating options by circumstance, men are limited only by themselves

Ask women you know for advice on how to dress. I'm afraid the rumours are true: women really do judge men on how they dress. But don't be too quick to dismiss this as shallow. I believe this actually derives from a self-defensive instinct that is inbuilt in all women. Creepy men tend to be socially awkward, and are therefore less likely to know how to dress well. They also present more of a potential danger to women, at least on an instinctive level, so it is very, VERY important that men know how to dress well! The best way to achieve this is to ask advice from girls you know. If you have a sister, ask her. Sisters can be fantastic sources of information on how men your age ought to dress (they will usually also be thrilled to be asked). If you don't have any sisters or female friends, befriend a young mum at church or your gym or group class who is likely to be comfortable imparting this kind of advice. You could also talk to your friends' girlfriends, or even girls you know reasonably well, where there is no physical attraction on either side. Do not ask your own mother. Mums tend to be too close, and you need a female who is removed enough to give you objective advice. Women can, and often do, reject a man outright if he is very badly-dressed, so this is not one to skip. Learn how to dress well!

I'm not saying that doing any, or all, of the above is going to automatically make you successful with women, but I can guarantee you that they will all improve your chances

  • See a psychologist or counsellor. I can tell you from personal experience that seeing a psychologist has been the single-greatest cause of personal growth and healing in my life, and one of the best decisions I've ever made. It has completely transformed my life in every way. I also know we are a damaged lot today. This cannot help but affect our self-confidence, our levels of anxiety, stress or depression, or our general emotional wellbeing. You do not need to be ‘crazy' to see a psychologist. In fact, I don't know anyone who would not benefit from seeing a good therapist, and many need it desperately, but are often ignorant of, or in denial about, this fact. Finding a good one is the trick, though, so I would say seek one recommended by someone you know and trust, and definitely do not see anyone who prescribes drugs. I have had great success with a therapist who practices “acceptance commitment therapy” or ACT, and couldn't recommend it more highly. Who knows? Perhaps what is really holding you back from finding a wife is damage done earlier in life, or a wound given that you have never been able to properly heal from. Therapy isn't cheap, but a good therapist is worth her weight in gold. Think of it, not as an expense, but an investment in your long-term mental and emotional health, confidence, maturity and personal growth.

At the end of the day, both men and women are limited by the opposite sex when it comes to finding a mate

In addition to the above, I also put together a helpful guide in how to determine whether a woman is interested in you or not in my last blog post, how to tell if she's interested, which should improve your success rate and decrease your chances of experiencing rejection.